Tall, Dark, and Role Model Material?

Some days, I wish I could travel back in time. These fleeting moments normally arise when I am feeling overly lethargic or stressed. Back when I played softball in college (remember kids, that was when dinosaurs roamed the earth), I practiced on the field or lifted weights in the gym every day. I was on auto-exercise pilot and it was great.

Now, 10 years later and 15 pounds heavier, I spend on average 7 hours a day in a tiny box that corporate America has blessed me with as my home away from home. Lately, however, my focus is on why I never considered how easily my husband (back when he was just the boyfriend I dated back in college) would transition into my spouse and role model for our children.

From Chivalrous to Childish

Don’t get me wrong. My husband, Ryan, is a tremendous man and a wonderful father. The first things I noticed about him were how beautiful his eyes are, how much he paid attention to me, and how effortlessly he could make me laugh…all of these led to me saying “I do.” Fast forward 10 years and three children later, I’ve discovered there are so many questions I never thought to ask him.

Then: Honey, how are you are able to control your digestive system no matter what you eat when we go out? You are amazing.
Now: What on earth is that smell? Seriously? Grow up. The boys are trying to copy you. Nice.

Then: Hi sweetie. What movie do you want to take me to tonight? Titanic? Really? That is so sweet of you.
Now: If you agree to go to a movie that does not involve nudity or violence, I will unload and load the dishes.

Then: Babe…I can’t believe how early you start your day. Can we wait to go to brunch around 10 o’clock when I am done sleeping?
Now: Shut the *&#@! up or you are going to wake up the kids! Are you mentally off for thinking 7 o’clock is a good time to roll out of bed on a freaking Saturday?

Then: Boy, your voice really caries. Ever wonder why people think we are a good match? (flirty laughter and coy smile)
Now: Is there a reason why you feel possessed to yell at the top of your lungs over the TV that you have turned up to full blast? I literally feel like I am stuck in an airway terminal in my own home.

Then: Would you like me to go ahead and schedule your doctor’s appointment for you dear? I could easily do that and then you would have one less thing to worry about today. I know you’re busy.
Now: How on God’s green earth are you given a management position at your work? NO…I will not call your grandma back on your behalf. I will NOT be the sole possessor of the phone numbers for our children’s school, day care, and pediatrician. And I WON'T ask the waitress to get you a refill simply because “I am better at that kind of thing.” Why? Because I said so!

I would be remiss, however, if I did not give proper credit where credit is due. In our decade of marital bliss, I have been transformed into a wonderful, patient, understanding mom for my 7- and 5-year old boys and 1-year old girl. And I have my 33-year old fourth child to thank for that.