Separation Anxiety

No wonder employers make you come back to work when your baby is between 6 and 12 weeks old. That's when your baby only eats, sleeps, poops, spits up on you, cries a lot and maybe throws you a smile once in awhile for good measure. If you were to go back to work when they are 6 months or older, no mom would ever go back. They get you to want to come back in the beginning and then you have no choice but to stay.

Cambria is 13 months old and separation anxiety is at its peak. For me, not for her. Oh hell, she says "buh-bye," waves and blows me kisses and I am the one kicking and screaming and holding on for dear life. "Just one more hug." "Give mama a kiss." "Are you gonna miss mama today?" "Did you dream about mama last night?" She is already looking at me like I am high during these times and then starts pushing me away, arching her back and whining to get down. I may overdue it a little. Ok, I overdue it a lot. The "just one more hug" phase lasts a good five minutes.

The problem is that she is at such a fun age right now and doing and saying something new (literally) everyday. She is such a little sponge and mimics everyone and everything. I was taking her to the store the other day (see...when in the past would I have ever taken her to the store with me if I could've avoided it?) and I said, "It's hot." I buckled her in, got in the car, started driving and she is in the back saying, "hot" over and over again. What mom doesn't eat that crap up?

I was able to put up with my separation anxiety and repress it like any good adult would do until yesterday. We met my family for dinner and Ryan picked her up after work (which is usually my job) and brought her to the restaurant. So, I'm already bumming that I missed pick up duty, missed the smile on her face when she sees me and have lost a good hour of Cambria time, when they come waltzing in and my husband announces that Cambria took several steps today. Shoot. Me. And then he twists the knife a little more and says, "And, I even had her try it while I was there and it's true! She took 6 steps, sat down, picked up the toy, stood back up (has never happened) and continued walking to me." Jerk. The only thing saving me from bursting in tears at that point was a) we're in front of all of my family and that would just be childish and b) my sister looked like she may be even more torn up about this than I was. I actually think I did see tears in her eyes. I'm not sure though, because my arms were crossed, lip was out and I was pouting like a 4 year old.

So after a bit, my sister throws her chair back, stomps around the table, grabs Cambria, puts her on the ground and barks at me, "Put your arms out." Cambria stands there, pretends to take a step, then gets to the ground and crawls to me. This happened a few times before we gave up. So, not only did my baby walk all day yesterday and also walk when my husband (not me) picked her up, but she's probably walking right now while I’m at work. We got home too late last night for anything but pajamas, books and bed and this morning I woke her up from a dead sleep so I could see, kiss and hug her before heading off to work. And ask her if she dreamed about me, of course.

TSIB
-M