Tattle Tree

There are many, many reasons why I admire teachers. No matter how crappy my day goes, how many meetings I have or how many stupid people I have to interact with, nothing can compare with the average teacher’s daily agenda. I have to be honest, there are weekends when I am literally staring at the clock…trying to coerce the minute hand to move faster…just so I can return to my cubicle and escape from my four children (my oldest being my husband).

I am not rolling in the dough (have you seen my wardrobe?) but I am fairly certain I make more money than my kids’ teachers. They are the most patient, brilliant and underpaid people in corporate America. They come to work with a smile on their face, knowing full well that they must encounter ADD children, overly- or under-involved parents and mass chaos in general five days of the week.

I often wonder how they get through their day. Recently, during my five-year old’s parent/teacher conference, I learned a great life lesson in dealing with difficult people and stressful situations. This technique can be summarized in two words: Tattle Tree. The tattle tree is a simple but fantastic concept.

When my son’s teachers are too busy to listen to every whiney, snot-nosed kid in their tiny classroom complain about how “Olivia stuck her tongue out at me” or how “Martin got out of his chair,” they calmly tell the children to “Go tell the tattle tree.” The kids proceed to gather around a leafy plant in the corner of the room and shout out all of their friends’ offenses. At the end of the day, the teacher then listens to the tree and harmony is restored.

In doing this, both the tattler and the teacher achieve satisfaction. The tattler gets to blow off steam by ranting to a plant and the teacher gets to prevent him or herself from going to jail for strangling the tattler. It is pure genius.

When I returned to my job at an insurance company, I wasted no time and posted a sign with large letters reading “TATTLE TREE” to the closest plant on my floor. Word spread quickly about the tree’s purpose and (I kid you not), people began to utter the phrase, “Go tell the tattle tree” when someone complained about how “Vicki was talking too loud” or how “Heidi took a two-hour lunch.”

Teachers are the smartest people in the world and I bet some of the lessons you learned as a kid still reside within you today. Make sure to thank all of the teachers in your life…it’s the least we can do for everything they contribute to our society.

-H